Something has been bothering me for.. oh, 26 years? I’ve wanted to write about it before but
refrained for multiple reasons. Receive this however you’d like but know it comes from a
place of actual admiration for real men.
I often wonder why I have very little respect for men. I’ve toyed with some different
theories but none have seemed to resonate fully. Recently I asked myself again but
actually listened to the answer.
Men seem to be inherently due the placement of authority merely because they are men.
They demand a sense of respect from women merely because we are women. They
want to be considered leaders. They hold the executive positions in business, they want
to be the head of their household, they want to make executive decisions that effect
others, they want the ultimate authority and they want to make the money. All of that is
But wait.. Who’s leading in the actually hard areas? Who leads in putting their ego down
first? Who leads when the relationships falling apart and the fix requires one giving
forgiveness first? Who leads when humility, grace or mercy has to be given to a partner
who screwed up? Who leads in creating and implementing healthy conflict resolution
dynamics? Oh. That typically falls on the women, right? So wait. I’m confused. All the
leadership roles men love to assume I can actually accomplish too, with ease. So why
exactly does the rest fall on me also? You willingly and gladly leave all the truly
challenging areas to me yet I should ceed control and “respect” to you merely because
you’re the proud owner of a penis.
I will gladly offer you all the respect and honor this world has to give when you don’t
leave the hardest burdens of all to me and expect to be haled as the strong one. You put
your ego down first. You put yourself second, first. You choose not to walk out when the
fight gets hopeless, first. You choose to forgive when its hard, first. You choose to honor
me when I disrespect you. Lead that. Then we’ll talk.
So when people call me a man hater or tell me I’m too hard on men I shake my head and
laugh at your stupidity. Don’t you see I actually love men? I love who they truly are; who
they were created to be. I embrace all the raw authentic qualities that God placed in the
male gender. I love the strength they embody. What I don’t love is the watered down,
embarrassing, weak version that women are accepting as the standard to what men are
or should be. Who I am as a woman mandates you rise to the challenge of being the
caliber of man God purposed you to be or you are useless to me. Until the day I meet the
man who leads in humility and not ego I will remain happily single.