I am intrigued by a dichotomy I see embedded in love. Why do people know exactly what they want in a partner yet run from the ones who have it? Why do we yearn for intimate connection only as long as it remains a fantasy?
The idea of love is very different than its reality. The idea tends to encompass all of the positive beautiful fulfilling notions without accounting for the risk, pain and sacrifice. The idea looks great! It defines what we believe we will be able to identify in our mate. We subconsciously accept this idea as a reality just waiting to happen so we “hold out” for it. Believing one day it will cross our paths and resonate. But when someone comes along with all the positives we dreamed of we suddenly become confused by the pesky other additions we hadn’t accounted for. We feel uncertain: “this is too good to be true…right?” Maybe receiving affection uncovers our own insecurities and we ask “am I good enough?” How about when they “move to fast” and you begin to feel “claustrophobic”? We quickly justify our fears by assuming “no no … that can’t be the one. This doesn’t feel right.” So we move on feeling completely justified.
I fear we have become so attached to the idea of love that we are unable to accept its reality. (Some can barely differentiate between the two.) Imagine you’re in publix about to buy a Digiorno pizza. You’re immediately enticed by the delicious fluffy crusted picture on the box and your mouth begins to water. Sold. You can’t wait to go home and bake that bad boy. Timer goes off, pizza comes out and to your utter dismay that delicious fluffy crust is somewhat flat and hard and there’s barely enough sauce to cover the two pieces of pepperoni they graciously included. The reality doesn’t match the idea. So long as there is an idea of our “perfect mate” and “perfect relationship” held within our minds we will subconsciously measure each person and interaction against its standard. But is that standard attainable? We have molded love to be entirely self-indulgent while simultaneously placing all expectation on the other party. Almost every woman I speak to, when expressing complaints about her relationship, has plenty to say about HIM and nearly nothing to say about HER. I draw an immediate connection. This is the perfect way to never find true love or companionship. The “idea” in our heads usually paints a very clear picture of who we are waiting for but does it paint as clear a picture of who we are to become? What we are willing to risk? What we are willing to sacrifice? Love is transformative. If we spent more time measuring our own self growth against the standard of who God designed us to be we would very clearly see the areas in us that require grace from our (future or present) partner. Through understanding the very origin of true love as exemplified to us by Jesus Christ, we would be humbled & enlightened by its sacrificial nature. It converts love from being about “me” to being about “we”. From that perspective we bridge the gap and fear is largely removed.Roblox HackBigo Live Beans HackYUGIOH DUEL LINKS HACKPokemon Duel HackRoblox HackPixel Gun 3d HackGrowtopia HackClash Royale Hackmy cafe recipes stories hackMobile Legends HackMobile Strike Hack
PS – I will now be having pizza for dinner.